Préte-à-Patrick

Don’t think just because it’s the middle of March in freezing cold downtown Toronto that the fashion world isn’t keeping it’s smiling Irish eyes on some traditional “it’s-almost-spring-but-it-feels-like-January” parade through the streets.
Even though The Fashion Police were outnumbered along Bloor and Yonge streets by City of Toronto police, our crack team of photographers managed to infiltrate the red carpet
sidewalks and snap some shots of Toronto’s new mayor John Tory as he participated in the St. Patrick’s Day parade on Sunday.
But Torontonians being Torontonians, we feel the need to compare last year’s styles with this year’s trends and make our own ‘Fabulist’. So let’s go Head-To-Toe and see which mayor, John Tory or Rob Ford, comes out on top.
StPatrickCompare

1. Headwear
Even though both mayors decided to forgo the traditional Canadian toque, we have to give the advantage to Tory – simply for having a full head of hair to insulate against cranial heat loss.
2. Outerwear
The advantage goes to Tory on this one since a: he is wearing a sweater, and b: he admitted to buying his greenish-coloured jacket at Honest Ed’s. Ford’s choice of going into his ‘Clothes For August’ closet didn’t cut it in -15c weather last year.
3. Gloves
Again, advantage Tory. Leather gloves: good choice. Ford’s 1990s gloves with the fingers cut off reeks of Thompson Twins fan club swag.
4. Spirit
Clearly, Rob Ford’s accoutrements – including two ties, a lapel sticker, some sort of official Kiss Me I’m Irish chain of office thingy, and a handful of green beads – won this category over Tory, who looks like he brought a couple pens in case he needed to sign a few rush hour parking tickets on his way down Yonge Street. Bonus points to Ford for not yelling “Show us your tits!” while tossing the left over Mardi Gras beads.
5. Underwear
Your guess is as good as mine, but I figure neither had longjohns on.
6. Pants
This category goes to Tory for his ability to go casual; however, we have to subtract any possible bonus points for not trusting any of the people he meets on the parade route by moving his wallet from a rear pocket to a front one.
7. Footwear
This is a tie. Rob Ford wore dress shoes last year on his St.George to Nathan Phillips Square trek and must have had at least a few blisters for his troubles. Tory, on the other head, wore something a little more sensible for walking, but could have given his boots a little shine up before leaving his office in the morning.
_________________________________________
Overall, even though Tory wins on the category vote, the electorate vote – based purely on volume of selfie requests – seems to have put Ford ahead with the overall win for the Best St. Patrick’s Day Mayor Fashion Award.
Next year, Kathy Griffin will report live.

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